I’ve been on holiday with the Old Boy and the Wonder Dog in the wilds of South-Western Victoria, enjoying the scenery, while trying to keep warm. As a citizen of the driest state on the second driest continent … though I still don’t know why Antarctica is the driest when it’s covered in snow, which is technically water! Darn. Where was I? Oh yeah, coming from a dry state that is struggling through a very dry winter, it’s fascinating seeing what life in a place with plenty of rain is like. They actually have ponds and puddles and dams and lakes, all full of water. And! Their grass is GREEN. It’s amazing.

So, while we were away, relaxing, I managed to get just over 20,000 words added to my manuscript for book 2: Dragon-friend.  I’m starting to feel a little anxious that I won’t get it finished by the August deadline, so these days I don’t do much else. That’s why this blog has suffered in the past few weeks.

Today, rather than focus on world affairs (you all know what’s going on) I’m saving my ire for television. I know that, compared to what’s happened in London lately, this is only a drop in the ocean. But, it’s something that drives me nuts, so please let me vent.

They’re reporting on a car accident, or a shooting tragedy, or something similar. They have a plethora of adjectives to use – horrific, horrendous, horrible, horrifying – but do they use any of them? No. They go straight for the NOUN: a horror smash, a horror shooting, a horror death… !!!!!!

And, how come every victim of a car accident, or shooting, or whatever, is always “the innocent victim”? I mean, the law of averages suggests that some of those people must be guilty of something!

And, then there are the phrases that are bandied about willy-nilly. I’ll have you know that not “all of Australia” is holding its breath for the next episode. The Old Boy and I aren’t, and I bet there’s more than just us two.

What relevance does “9 out of 10 women” have, when we don’t know which women you asked? Are you implying that 90% of the female population in Australia uses your face cream, or just 9 of them? I’ve never been asked for my opinion for any of these things: face creams, soap, vacuum cleaners…nothing!

Every time I’m told that “You won’t believe what happens next”, I discover that it’s either someone’s deceived someone, a character leaves the show, or they’ve made an extraordinary dessert. These things aren’t particularly astounding. We all know you’re just trying to build the drama, to catch our attention, and quite frankly it is counter-productive. The more hyperbole you use, the more you dribble on telling me what I will or won’t like, and the more times you show the same “upcoming episodes” clip, the less likely I am to watch it.

There! I feel better. Thanks for listening.