The week between Christmas and New Year is an extended version of Easter Saturday: the hiatus between “then” and “what is to come”. I suppose for many of us it’s a time to sort the wrapping paper into the ripped-beyond-redemption and the can-probably-reuse piles. It’s a time to finish off the left-overs (if there are any). It’s a time to either throw away, or put into the rarely used cupboard, the what-were-they-thinking presents. Not that any of my family members ever give me something undesirable or useless, or just plain “what-the-hell-is-it?!” (Phew! Dodged a bullet there.) I guess, most of all, this week is a time to regroup, ready for the New Year celebrations.
Is anyone writing a New Year’s resolutions list? I don’t bother. In fact, I never got into the habit in the first place. Oh, okay…I used to resolve that this year I’d finally become thin, ethereal-looking and able to wear a size 10. Never happened. Ever.
New Year resolutions are a waste of time. Writing one of those lists is a futile exercise that will damn you to a hellish existence of guilt, frustration and, possibly, self-loathing. Don’t do it to yourself!
I’m not saying that one should never have aims or goals. And, I’m the first to encourage people to follow their dreams. I’m just saying that as soon as you write a list of I-wills or I-shoulds, you’re heading for disappointment. Proper goals/dreams/aims should be slightly beyond our reach to force us to stretch ourselves and make an effort but, at the same time, they should still be achievable. They shouldn’t be rigid laws, demanding impossible levels of perfection.
When I was a kid (back when I rode my pet stegosaurus to school) we would write a resolutions list as a class assignment. I’m sure it was just one of the ploys to keep us busy in that last strange week of school before the holidays. Even then I could never think of anything sensible or achievable to write. I’d put the perennial next-year-I’ll-be-thin (doomed to failure right there). Sometimes I’d put, when I grow up I’m going to be a lady. Hahahaaaaa. Yep, that worked out just fine. Usually I’d promise to be nice and polite and never say a bad word and to never cheat at games and… Oh you get the drift. In the New Year I’d finally become Miss Perfect. sigh.
Life isn’t neat and well-ordered. You can do all the planning you want but life has a habit of leaping out from behind a door and shouting, Surprise! There are more important things than writing lists. (I know that all you list-writers are now gasping with shock and horror. I’m sorry. Just pray for me.) Let’s just get on with living, loving, dreaming and doing and I’m sure the other stuff will sort itself out.
Start this coming new year in a sane, healthy, stress-free way: be kind to yourself. And, remember, if you muck it up there’s (God willing) another new year coming in about 12 months time. You’ll get another chance.
We’re all pilgrims on the journey of life. Thanks for helping to make my part of the trip interesting. Happy New Year!
I am with you Wendy- don’t plan- just do! Best time in our lives (hubby and kids included) was hopping into a converted bus one Sunday morning with no plan- just the road. We lived !! We met amazing people and we saw incredible sights- never once did we plan the next day we just let life unroll. I know this is not always possible in our busy world but we just did not want to waste time saying one day we will travel to…..and making lists of what we wanted to do and then look back in sorrow at what we did do in life. So yep Wendy I agree live and enjoy.
Good work, Dee! 🙂
ah Wendy!!! your reflections always warm the cockles of my heart.(incidentally, you are woman of words….what are the cockles of my heart….and can I dig them up and export them like Goolwa cockles??) Your reminiscing brought me back to childhood confessions where I admitted my failings and promised never to sin again. I’m sure I was fooling no-one…not myself, or Father Walsh…and certainly not God…these days I’m still confessing my shortcomings, Father Walsh is long gone and God continues to shape me in the image of his son…though there are still lots of rough edges that need to be smoothed…next year:)
Nothing wrong with confessing and saying sorry. The problem is when we expect to reach perfection by keeping a little list and ticking off our progress as we go. We know it’s an exercise doomed to failure because we are flawed people. I say, throw those silly lists away. I expect that the good Father Walsh, if he had the opportunity, would now advise the same thing. 🙂
No resolutions here, just a goal to make every effort to finish what I start. I am so sanguine that I jump from fun project to fun project and have a terrible time seeing things through to the END. I’m hoping that 2013 will be a year of completeness. I’ve a pillow to finish, a novel to end and publish, a room that still needs organizing… I’m going to tackle them one at a time and Get ‘er DONE!
New Year’s resolutions are in a class of their own. They are not really to do lists. They imply that you are dissatisfied with your life and intend to go in a different direction.
A list should be nothing more than a memory prompt. I make almost a daily list, but it only ever contains a few concrete items. Things that I need to do that day to make it worthwhile. Pay bills. Water the African violets. Go to the dentist. I never make a list that would colonise my whole life or even a whole day. Life never quite matches your list. You have to be able every evening to throw away the list and keep the day.
I agree, lists are a waste of time, and only bring on huge guilt trips and who wants to travel that path. Not me!
Cheers
With all this heat I seem to be having a listless new year.
I’ve heard that’s not necessarily a bad thing, Ken. 🙂