I’m being stalked by the green-eyed monster. I’m trying to give it the slip by keeping my head down and my nose clean, and thinking happy thoughts. But, I can still see it, out of the corner of my eye, lurking around the corner.

So many of my editing clients have had their books published, held book launches, done book signings, run ‘win-a-free-copy’ competitions and generally done all those ‘author-type’ things that come with the territory of getting a book in print. Some even have pretty bookmarks and cute t-shirts to give away.

I want some of that.

Okay, I’ve got a book published as an e-book but it’s not the same. No launches, no book signings, no book-marks, no visit to schools, no free copies to give to special friends…  Sigh.

Most of my clients have been picked up by traditional publishers; lucky them. I’ve had a number of publishers compliment me on my writing but they just can’t find room on their list. I almost wish they’d say they don’t like my writing and that I don’t have any ability and my characters are boring and the story line is dull… At least that would make some sense of it all. Instead they heap praises on me (which is nice) but they don’t want my book (which sucks).

A few of my clients have gone the co-publishing/self-publishing route and they’re now busy selling copies to family and friends. If only I had enough money to pay to get it into print. However, it took a lot of careful juggling of finances to scrape up the pittance (less than $1000) I needed to get the book out as an e-book. There’s no way in heck that I could afford to pay the price for a print version.

I’m getting tired, trying to market my e-book on the net. I have a FB fanpage but it’s a steady job coming up with ‘updates’ to keep the page alive. The people liking the page has dwindled to a very slow trickle. FB will help me advertise the thing, but that will involve regular payments (of course) of money I don’t have. Sigh (again). It all seems too hard for this old duck.

I’m wondering, seriously, whether it’s all worth it. I’ve always wanted to tell stories. I love word-craft. People who’ve read my e-book have given generous, positive feedback. They seem to like it. I know I can write well but… It sometimes feels as if the universe is working against me.

Oh well, back to the keyboard. I’ve just got to keep my head down and my nose clean so that you-know-what can’t sneak up on me.