I’ve decided that there is something in the water in Canberra that has turned both major political parties slightly crackers. The come-back kid, Rudd, has become more right-wing than his political opponents. I concede that it’s a clever ploy, leaving the opposition only two choices: agree with him (anathema!) or become more left-wing. But, if they did that, they would effectively become each other. Labor is acting like the Liberals, forcing the Liberals to act more like Labor. My mind is boggling at the thought!

Then Mr Abbott announced that we are facing a National Emergency: refugees keep trying to come here. He wants the army to take charge, to “protect our borders”. Oh for flipping Pete’s sake, Mr A! Seriously? He’s like a modern-day Quasimodo, swinging from the belfry chanting, “The boats! The boats!”

I agree we’re facing a National Emergency, but it’s not boat loads of desperate people fleeing terror, torture and death, looking for a safe haven in our beautiful country. It’s the fact that the leaders of this nation have lost all sense of compassion and all sense of perspective. They are so focused on gaining or keeping power by winning the votes of the undecided, that they can’t see past their own towering ambition.

I blame Mr Howard. Before the towers fell on 9/11, refugees sometimes came here in leaky boats across the Indian Ocean. We took them in and they quickly became hard-working, grateful members of society. Then the planes hit the buildings and President Bush had to be seen to be doing something. War was declared. We agreed to help. To keep the Australian public supportive of the war, Mr Howard had to bring back the old bogey-man. Why, terrorists could be slipping into our country under the guise of innocent refugees! We’d better lock them all up, out in the desert, behind barbed-wire fences, until we can be sure they’re who they say they are.

Let’s ignore the fact that any decent terrorist wouldn’t put himself at risk, sailing across pirate and shark infested waters in a leaky boat. It’s much easier to fly in on tourist visas and then hide out. Indeed, that’s how the majority of our illegal immigrants come here. Do we hear either party suggesting we should ask the Air Force to police our airports and repel all suspicious tourists? No, but Mr A wants the army to “man our borders, to keep the boats out”.

I can see it now: army personnel standing shoulder to shoulder along our entire coast line, holding large poles ready to push the boats back out to sea. Of course this would take more people than is currently our entire population.

Hmm…how could we build up our numbers? Two choices: more babies and more immigrants. I seriously doubt there’d be many young women these days who’d be willing to have ten or more, children. That only leaves the alternative, as long as they come by plane. The irony is that it was terrorists in planes (not boats) that set this whole madness in motion. Mr Abbott should be pointing at the sky and chanting, “The planes! The planes!”

My head hurts.