Well, the G20 is up and running in sunny Queensland. Today, in Brisbane, it’s around 37C (98.6F) and, being Queensland, it’s most likely humid too. The delegates probably won’t notice, coming from their air-conditioned hotels, in their air-conditioned limousines, to an air-conditioned venue. Even so, I wonder how many of their journalistic countrymen will mention the tough climatic conditions. Oh wait…I forgot, Mr Abbott doesn’t want the climate to appear on the agenda. They’ll probably just mutter under their breath about it while lining up for their free drinks, or waiting for an elevator that’s secure, private and air-conditioned.

What is the G20? As far as I can gather it’s the 20 countries in the world with the top 20 economies, plus a few guests. They gather to talk about financial issues. I’ve heard that the big issue this year is: how to grow the economies of the top 20 countries. I’m surprised by this. I would have thought, being the top 20 economies in the world, they would have already figured this out.

I wonder how much thought is given to all the not-in-the-top-20 countries. Is there any discussion on how to improve the poorer nations’ economies so that they can join the club? Wouldn’t it be brilliant if the G20 could grow into the G100? Or, cynic that I am, could it be the discussion is all about the G20 staying rich and getting richer, often by exploiting those who aren’t in the club? I hope I’m wrong.

Our government must be feeling the pressure. Even tho’ we’re in the club, we’re certainly not in the inner circle. When our bloke goes to G20 meetings in other countries, I bet he doesn’t bring his own limousine in the back of his plane, like the Russians and the Americans. Nor does he get to land his plane somewhere separate from the regular airfield, so that he can then make an entrance in a helicopter. Poor Mr Abbott must be feeling a few little pangs of jealousy.

I hope Mr Abbott and Mr Putin can settle their differences. Their little game of one-up-man-ship is, let’s face it, a little juvenile, a little demeaning and just a tad scary. These school yard scraps can so easily escalate and, before you know it, someone will be crying.

And, with all the other blokes keen on tackling climate change (the Americans and the Chinese can afford to look smug), our PM’s troglodytish stand on science and the government’s current inhumane treatment of refugees (the Italians and the Germans make us look like concentration camp operators), Mr A must be feeling a little bit left out. I wonder if anyone sits with him in the canteen at lunch time.

I hope Australia leaves the delegates with some happy memories. I hope their conflab actually produces something worthwhile for the world. I hope they all get to cuddle a koala.